iShine Updates
Today I am SO excited to share a guest video blog from my good friend Chris Spradlin! Chris has become a great ‘iron sharpens iron’ friend that I talk to once a week.
Chris was a leader and team teacher at probably the largest Church in the world – LifeChurch.TV, now Chris has an amazing ministry called EpicParent.TV that I subscribe to.
I love his approach to parenting and sharing the journey online with other parents facing the same things. His no-nonsense, at time irreverent, take on things is a welcome change from a lot of the middle of the road, typical parenting blogs. But, one thing you can count on is always getting a Bible centered, honest approach to real life, real-time parenting.
In this Vlog Chris reveals some ALARMING Statistics, (and believe me I have heard LOTS of Statistics regarding our kids but some of this was news to me!), that as parents – WE NEED TO KNOW!
I highly recommend you watch this video and subscribe to his blog… It really has been a great help to me.
Follow Him on twitter – HERE
Or FaceBook – HERE
Chris was kind enough to have me guest post on his site – What do the Grammy’s and Paris Hilton have to do with Parenting?
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If you don’t want a rant – don’t watch… I’m ticked off.
Here’s the deal, regardless of what you feel about Mr. Rod Blagojevich’s 14 year sentence… (it is pretty harsh) bottom line this guy is guilty of disgraceful mis-use of power and corruption. How could there possibly be a parenting lesson in this??
Here’s what ticks me off – a quote after the sentencing today - He said his next mission is to go home with his wife and explain to his daughters, Amy, 15, and Annie, 8, what will happen from here.
“I want to apologize to my wife. I love her. She has stood by me in the worst of times, not only the best of times. … Of course I want to apologize to my children and explain this is not how we saw this”*
EXPLAIN HOW WE SAW THIS?? Come on! Despite the slaughtering of their innocence by putting them thru this – Man up – don’t make excuses… Don’t try to spin this by telling them HOW YOU SAW WHAT YOU DID! More than saying I’m sorry – accept the responsibility for what you did and explain NO ONE is ever above the law or making mistakes.
I rant for a few minutes on this video -
BTW I DO know his name is ROD not Ron and I do know he was the Gov of Illinois Not Gov of Chicago as stated in this rant. 
Give me your thoughts. I promise I won’t go off on you!
*cbs chicago
Over 10 years ago my wife, Jodie, baby sat “Baby Taylor” for our new friends Jeremy and Summer Kempfer.
Summer would drive over to our home, drop Baby Taylor off and the prayer meeting began! Jodie literally prayed over Taylor, prayed for the Kempfer family and prayed that Summer and Jeremy would come to know Jesus.
And guess what…GOD MOVED!
Yep! Summer and Jeremy both saw their need for Christ and surrendered their lives to Him.
That day in history is etched into my mind forever!
Just like YESTERDAY is etched into my mind forever!
Yesterday was the day that I found out that Summer was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. As I type this, it’s still hard to believe!
Although Summer is walking in the unknown, I love her faith filled, I WILL NOT cower and God WILL MOVE attitude!
Check out a couple of her Facebook updates from yesterday…
“As I was talking to God on my way to Academy this morning (to buy some comfy clothes) I told Him that there is no fear of the 
unknown. What He quickly told me back was that there is no fear because He “knows” what the future holds and because He is my Abba Father (my daddy) I trust Him and fear can not overtake me. Good stuff!” ~ Summer
“The world’s report is stage 3 cervical cancer but my God says I AM HEALED! We are standing on God’s word. There is no fear. I start Chemo as early as Monday and then radiation 5 days a week. Just know our GOD IS GOOD and FAITHFUL and He will give me grace for each day!” ~ Summer
So the reason for my post is to ask YOU to do 2 things for me…
- PRAY for the Kempfer family.
- Visit Summer on Facebook and post on her wall, let her know you are praying for her.
Thank you so much for taking time to speak life into Summer’s soul!!
My EpicWife (Jodie) and I had a tough first year of marriage. I was pretty uptight and angry, so one day I decided to show my manliness by punching a hole in our living room wall (Mr. Tough Guy Chris). Jodie was partial to throwing stuff at me. She liked to throw stuff like hairbrushes, aqua net and our best friend’s breast pump that shattered against the wall (this is where you have a visual of breast milk running down the wall). That fight cost me a good $250.00!
LISTEN CLOSELY!
IF WE CAN MAKE IT ~ ANYONE CAN MAKE IT
So Jodie and I eventually decided to go through an intense, hands – on, in your face marriage retreat…and it saved our marriage! I will never forget playing a game called, “The gifts I see in you are…” I had to stand eye to eye with Jodie, hold her hands and say, the gifts I see in you are… (INSERT GIFTS) This was one of the most life giving exercises that Jodie and I have ever participated in!
Parents! I encourage you to celebrate your kid’s gifts this Thanksgiving! As you sit around the Thanksgiving table this year, hold your kiddo’s hands and say, the gifts I see in you are…(INSERT GIFTS)
i.e.: your passion, love for others, encouragement, leadership, creativity, singing…(you get the idea)
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Proverbs 18:21
GUT LEVEL HONESTY GAME: Do you struggle with speaking life to your kids? Please share your thoughts…
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There are several reasons that I deserve a punch in the face when it comes to parenting, but I am most disgusted when I allow my kids to see content on the television that is inappropriate…just because I want to watch it! I don’t see a Biblical standard for parents and a different one for children. Time to put on my boxing gloves.
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable was the bomb – diggity of all fathers!! Dr. H wasn’t afraid to speak life into his kids’ soul. Dr. H was notorious for creative discipline and getting his point across. Dr. H wore the ugliest sweaters on the planet but somehow made them cool. Dr. H was “the man” when his kids needed advice. Dr. H didn’t have to beat his children into submission, he simply told the truth and let it go. So why did Dr. H make the “5 Parents I Want To Punch In The Face List”??? Because he makes me look bad…really, really bad!! And I’m jealous of all his cool sweaters.
Soccer sensation David Beckham just bought his eldest son Brooklyn a refined version of the ultra-small Porsche sports car. The toy car is handcrafted and is powered by a diesel engine. Costing approx. $72,610, the customized small Porsche is a single-seater. The toy car is just for him to go out on a joy ride in the backyard of his mansion. Things that make you go hmmm….
Formerly a Baptist minister, Joe Simpson is daughter Jessica’s manager. He is also an admirer of her sizable rack. “She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” he told GQ in a 2004 interview. Need I say more!!?!
Do you lie to your kids? Do you love your kids so much that you want to protect them from the truth? Do you tell them half truth’s because their heart is not yet ready to process the full truth of a situation? Are you honest with them regarding the real reason their mom and dad left? Have you told them the truth about the fish they flushed down the toilet? Have you told them there is not really a “fish heaven” but their adorable fish is simply dead? Have you told your kids the real reason they don’t have a college fund? Have you told them that they don’t have any money for college is because mom and dad have always lived beyond their means?
I am not advocating that we should expose 100% of the truth to our kiddos. I don’t believe that we should turn our filter off and hose them down with undiluted spine chilling truths. I don’t believe that parents should sit down with their kids and destroy their utopian existence in an attempt to be a real and authentic parent.
However, I do think that parents should choose honest and umcomfortable answers over “time buying” explanations. I think that parents should inch towards dowsing their kids with cold truths instead of blowing more air into their insulated bubble existence. I also believe that kids can learn more from your mistakes, failures, and stupidity than thinking your wear a superman cape or fly an invisible plane like Wonder Woman.
So parents…lets try this approach…
- Be honest with your kids regarding your financial failures and excessive spending. You may save them from a life of financial dysfunction.
- Share the truth about your childhood struggle with masturbation. I know this seems taboo, but it might save your kids from a lifetime of struggle and confusion.
- Tell your kids that you disagree and struggle with many of God’s choices, but that you have learned to trust them. This will lead them towards a non-robotic relationship with Jesus.
- Be honest with your kids and tell them that you hope they get hurt, talked down to, thrown under the bus, lied about, hurt by friends, and hit in the eye. James 1 tells us that this “lack of parental protection” will serve as a spiritual boot camp that leads to endurance.
- Don’t just share the dark side of sex. Tell your children that sex is fun, awesome, and a supernatural gift from God…in the context of God’s design.
Parents tend to think they they protect their kids’ hearts by sheltering them from the truth, but I wonder if we actually wound their heart when sheltering them from the truth?
What is 1 truth you need to share with your kids?
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- Your kids are in High School and you continue to fund their lavish lifestyle because they are unemployed.
- You do all the chores around the house.
- You rush to your child’s defense because they are rarely wrong.
- You say “YES” because it’s easier than an argument.
- You can’t seem to hold your kids to a consistent curfew or bed time.
- You rarely follow through on promised discipline… ”If you do that one more time…”
- You allow your kids to yell at you.
- Your kids always ask you instead of your spouse.
- You let your kids quit after 2 soccer practices.
- Your kids wear you down until they get their way.
If you are a push over parent, I want you to take a second and raise your hand. Don’t be shy. Step into the pain. Dr. Phil says “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. Now it’s time to step into the pain and reverse this curse!!
3 TIPS TO REVERSE THE CURSE OF A PUSH OVER PARENT…
- ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES: Gather the fam and admit that you have been a push over at times.
- DRAW A LINE: Clearly articulate to your kids that you will no longer allow them to raise their voice, wear you down, avoid chores, and mooch off mom and dad. Draw a line in the sand and make sure they understand that when they cross the line there will be consequences to pay.
- FOLLOW THROUGH: If your kids cross the line, you MUST follow through on your promise to discipline.
What is 1 thing you need to do, to reverse the curse of a push over parent?
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I want to introduce you to my bold, beautiful, and amazing daughter Kylie Spradlin. Kylie is 12 years old and writing is one of her passions! So today Miss Kylie Spradlin is taking over…
So here’s Kylie…
Kylie here!!
So today, I’m going to tell you guys about the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, and “kinda old” but not really…JODIE SPRADLIN!!
23 years and 4 days ago my mom was hit by a drunk driver and had her right leg amputated…scary I know!! Imagine that! A 70 miles per hour head on collision on Thanksgiving Day.
What would happen if I was in that situation, I know I wouldn’t handle it as well as my mom!
I always ask her “would you ever go back and change it?” Her answer is short and sweet, “no way!” ”I would have never got the chance to share my story, change lives, and meet all the kind and considerate people that have helped me.”
So here are a few things that I think all parents should teach their kids about handicapped people…
- Treat them as you would want to be treated: NEVER EVER make fun of them!! Even if they look a little different, God created them for purpose.
- Offer support: Since my mom doesn’t have a leg, I really try to make myself available to help her out. I will run upstairs and grab hers shoes, jacket, wallet, and keys. Parents, teach your kids to pay attention to handicapped people and try to figure out a way that they can help them.
- Be careful on what you ask: My mom doesn’t care when people ask how she lost her leg, but some people don’t really want to talk about it and don’t want people all up in their business. Coach your children to strike up a friendship before they start asking personal questions.
And here is something you just need to know about my mom…
She loves to play the handicapped card: “Kylie, will you go to the bathroom for me… I’m handicapped!” ”Kylie, will you go and take a nap for me? I’m handicapped!” ”Kylie, will you carry my backpack upstairs for me? I’m handicapped!”. But I always help her, because I love her!
My mom is my inspiration because she has moved on passed her leg problem and she focuses on the more important things in life!
Like me!!
Just kidding!
Jodie Marie Spradlin has done some pretty remarkable things in spite of her handicap! (That is what my mom calls it).
She has finished her first year of nursing school going on to her second year. She has given birth to Team Sprad… Cole, Kylie, and Tifton. The last thing is she has been married to CHRIS SPRADLIN for 17 years!! Wow!
So parents! Teach your kids to step up, shake hands and get to know the handicapped people around them. I promise their lives will be much better because they stepped outside of their comfort zone.
Today’s post is from my good friend Brandon Donaldson. Brandon and I worked together at LifeChurch.tv for several years and it was there that I saw Brandon’s deep passion for his children.
Brandon, I absolutely love this post!! And thank you for writing today and please know that Team Sprad has much respect for your family and your commitment to parenting!
Here’s Brandon…
Can you imagine if the U.S. Constitution was the work of just one mind? Can you imagine the Chicago Bulls from the 90′s winning even one NBA championship with Michael Jordan alone? These things were meant to be done with others. Parenting is no different. Too many times we beat ourselves up for not having all the answers as parents, but the truth is, we were never meant to. There are so many great men and women of God in our lives that have different experiences, strengths, and perspective that could be a great resource for us as we raise our kids. I love the scripture in Proverbs 22:6 that starts by saying, “Train up a child in the way he should go…” The phrase “the way” literally means “his way.” As parents our job is to help our children find their bent, their specific way, their unique design from God. To help our kids discover their way, we need to expose them to more than our limited perspective. Don’t misunderstand, my role as father to my children can not be duplicated by anyone else, but I know that some of the greatest insight and growth in my life has come through other leaders that I have met in person or learned from in great books. What if we set this up for our kids on purpose?
Here are a couple of my favorite practical ideas, which I have gleaned from other great men, Tim Elmore and Greg Gunn, that I am using to bring a broader perspective to my children. The first idea is creating a book list for my kids to read in their 12th year, which I believe will help bring my kids important insight as they are growing into true men and women of God. Here is the first book list I have put together for my soon-to-be 12 year old boy, Merrick:
- Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations – Alex & Brett Harris
- Habitudes – Tim Elmore
- Hatchet – Gary Paulsen
- Richest Man in Babylon – George Clason
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens – Sean Covey
- I Kissed Dating Goodbye – Joshua Harris
- The Teen’s Guide to World Domination: Advice on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Awesomeness – Josh Shipp
- The Greatest Salesman in the World – Og Mandino
- Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World – Joshua Harris
- The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make: A Guide for Teens – Sean Covey
- Take Your Best Shot – Austin Gutwein
- Start Here: Doing Hard Things Right Where You Are – Alex & Brett Harris
Second, Christi and I are putting together a list of 8-10 men (or women for my girls) with great character and different life and work experiences who could spend a day or 1/2 day with our kids when they are 13. This will allow other great people to speak into the lives of our kids and share about their work, their life experiences, their important life-lessons learned, and their thoughts of what it takes to be a man or woman.
It is our job to train up our children in their specific way, but that does not mean we have to have all the answers or do it alone. God never intended that. I think the wisdom in Proverbs 15:22 can be a good principle to remember as we parent: “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.”
What are some ways you are giving your kids perspective and experiences outside of your own?
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It seems that God always uses my wife, Jodie’s, love and discernment to reveal my inadequacies in parenting.
The latest revelation has been tough to swallow, but Jodie showed me that my “default” parenting mode is “HARD”.
I know how to be a blast, play the role of an absolute dork father, and I have seasons when my heart is soft and can cry at the drop of the hat. But my “default” mode is “HARD” which manifest’s itself in judgement, seriousness, and expectation.
Like last week…
My son told Jodie that it was easier for him to talk to her about some stuff…because dad can be too “HARD”.
I think I can be this way because of baggage from my childhood, unrealistic expectations for my kids, and a hidden desire for perfectionism.
I just thank God that he has given me a wife that has a loving ability to speak truth into my life.
God, I just pray that you will give me more grace, love, and understanding when dealing with my kids’ hearts.
Now it’s your time to confess? What is your EpicParent confession?
Would you like to receive Epicparent’s newest posts by email? If so, click HERE. If you would like to add it to your reader, click HERE.
